Why Is My Dad or Mom Doing Too Much?
A Lesson That Hit Home
Let me start here—this one hits home.
I completely understand having high standards for your kids. I’ve got them too, and truthfully… I’m not changing that. When your child puts in the work, sacrifices time, and shows commitment, it’s natural to expect a certain level of performance. That’s not wrong—that’s investment.
But here’s where it gets real.
This weekend, when Malia didn’t perform at the level I know she’s capable of, I felt it. Not just disappointment… I felt anger creeping in. And I responded in a way that wasn’t about teaching—it was emotional.
Now don’t get it twisted—I believe in accountability. I’m not soft on kids, and I don’t plan on being. I want tough, resilient athletes who can handle adversity. That’s part of development.
But there’s a difference between being stern and being emotional.
And if we’re being honest… sometimes as parents and coaches, we cross that line.
The Truth Most Won’t Say Out Loud
We want our kids to dominate.
Yeah, I said it.
We want them to shine, to stand out, to succeed at a high level. That pride we feel? It’s real. That desire? It’s real.
But here’s the tension…
At what cost?
Because if we’re not careful, that same passion can slowly chip away at something way more important:
Their love for the game
Their confidence
Their relationship with us
The Moment That Checked Me
After I challenged Malia during the game, I knew almost immediately—I needed to step back.
Not from coaching… but from emotion.
Because growth doesn’t come from fear or embarrassment.
It comes from:
Experience
Mistakes
Teaching
Encouragement
Love
She didn’t quit.
She didn’t fold.
She responded.
And that’s what matters.
She took coaching. She tried to apply it. She stayed in the fight.
That’s toughness. That’s coachable.
So instead of tearing her down after the game like I might have in the past… I did something different.
I lifted her up.
I recognized her in front of the team—not for being perfect, but for responding the right way.
And later, I told her something every kid needs to hear:
“I love you. I’m proud of you. Whether you dominate or not—you’re mine, and that doesn’t change.”
What I’m Learning (Still Learning)
This isn’t about being perfect. I’m not writing this from a place of “I’ve got it all figured out.”
I don’t.
This is an ongoing battle.
Because I care. Because I want the best for my child. Because I want her to succeed.
But I’m learning this:
You can demand excellence without damaging confidence
You can hold kids accountable without humiliating them
You can be intense without being out of control
And most importantly…
You can push your child without pushing them away
Final Thought
There’s no manual for this.
We’re all figuring it out in real time.
But if we can be honest about our flaws… if we can check ourselves… if we can lead with love while still demanding growth…
Youth sports becomes what it’s supposed to be.
Not just about winning.
But about building strong, confident, resilient young people.
Let’s keep growing. Together.